You are going to get married? First thing – choose your bridesmaids for the wedding, because you will need your best friend by your side, just from the start. But what is the role of the bridesmaids, what obligations do they have towards the bride and, conversely, what obligations does the bride have towards them?
Historical meaning of ladies
We often hear that the origin of the figure of the bridesmaids is to be found in the Egyptian era or in Ancient Rome, where the bride was accompanied by unmarried girls dressed in a similar way to divert evil spirits from her, jealous of her happiness.
In fact, doing extensive research we discovered that the figure of the American bridesmaid could have a biblical origin, because Jacob in the book of Genesis talks about the marriage of Leah and Rachel citing the slave who accompanied them. The slave girl of that time was the servant, or rather, the maid of today.
The role of bridesmaids
Surely if you are thinking of having bridesmaids you do it because you like the idea of the scenic parade, opened by girls all dressed alike. Charming!
They also have the task of organizing the two parties for the bride: the Bridal Shower, which is an evening at home where the bridesmaids and friends of the bride pamper her with gifts and memories of their friendship, and the Bachelorette Party, which is the corresponding of our bachelorette party… basically we go around having fun!
Often these parties have considerable costs, because the Americans, you know, do everything big! And the cost is all up to the bridesmaids.
Sometimes the bride asks them to also bear the cost of the dress and to pay their share for any travel for the wedding.
Bride and Bridesmaids Dance
The bridesmaid dress
The most crucial point when you want a procession of bridesmaids is their attire, which must reflect the style and colors of the wedding.
There are two ways to go:
The first possibility is to tell the bridesmaids which color they should dress and if the dress should be long or short, leaving them free to choose the outfit that makes them feel more comfortable.
The risk in this case is that they choose similar but different colors, which do not fit perfectly next to each other, or different fabrics, unless they go to the same shop and seek advice from a capable saleswoman.
The second possibility is that you buy the same fabric for all the bridesmaids and have tailor-made dresses made in the tailor shop. In this case they can also be different models and shades of color, as long as they are all of the same length.
The fabric will make the difference and make them “a harmonious group”.
Who pays for the bridesmaids’ dresses?
Assuming they will probably never wear that dress again, you should be the one to bear the cost. Especially if you want a wedding with an accent, dressing them up with tailored suits. We cannot ask for an economic effort beyond their economic possibilities, it would not be polite to put them in difficulty!
The lady of honor
What is different about the lady of honor compared to other bridesmaids? He is a very special person who will also have an official role.
The maid of honor, in fact, is the correspondent of our best man, because he signs the marriage certificate making it valid, together with what in America is called Best Man, or the best man. If the maid of honor is single, overseas it is called “Maid of Honor”, while if she is married she is called Matron of Honor.
And who is the Man of Honor? It is the evolution of tradition!
In North America, it is no longer taken for granted that the maid of honor is a woman, it could also be a man linked to the bride, like a brother, a cousin, a close friend.
The bridemaids’ obligations towards the bride
If you want bridesmaids by your side, you must know that the bride is required to give them a fairly important gift, to thank them for their commitment.
The gift can not be considered the dress because, most likely they will never wear it again in life!
But beyond the gift, there are far more important obligations a bride has towards her bridesmaids:
- do not put them in difficulty with the tasks to be performed, for example asking for too complex or distant bachelorette parties or a demanding participation in the organization of the whole wedding;
- do not put them in difficulty with the costs to be incurred, for clothes, for the bachelorette party, for travel, etc;
- don’t put them in trouble with the dress models you ask them to wear, because they won’t have to feel uncomfortable.
Bridesmaids need to be as happy to attend as you are to have them by your side.